It started off slow.
I had no motivation to get out of bed, until my four year old started “soft touching” my face. Something I do to her all the time, something she loves.
After a couple cups of dark coffee, I decided we all needed some air, and we needed to start off 2015 the right way.
In our favorite place.
Black Point in Narragansett, RI.
It was an icy wonderland today. 29 degrees but the ocean was calm, and the girls’ excitement heightened all of our senses.
“Just don’t step on the ice, you may fall through.”
About a minute later I was pulling a half submerged leg through the cracked ice.
Luckily, my car comes with about 24 extra pairs of socks and 13 shoes the girls have discarded and failed to take into the house.
I knew there was a reason my car was so messy.
“You are a Lorincz, you are tough and outdoorsy.”
I found myself saying that to the girls as one of them started to complain about something.
It was oddly foreign to me. Everything in me wanted to state my maiden name, the name I truly associate myself with.
I didn’t change my name after the divorce.
I remember being in court, on the stand, in the final moments of finalizing all of it, and my lawyer asking me (before my now ex and the entire court) if I were going to keep his name.
I said yes with no hesitation.
What mattered to me the most was making it as easy and clear for the girls as possible. I didn’t want to give them another confusing factor to have to try and sort through.
It’s just a name, it does not define me.
But I can’t help but admit the name Hyland does.
There is a lot to that name. So much I hold on to. And so much I try and give to my girls through example.
Today I encouraged adventure. A Hyland-Type adventure.
But then, I ended up scolding for not listening about dangerous ice. I encouraged toughness, and then blasted the heat and Taylor Swift mid-adventure as we warmed up as my oldest changed her soaked socks.
So maybe, we are inventing a new type of adventure all our own, but rooted in my Hyland genes.
Regardless of names, or adventures I put my girls up to, I find myself rooted in our own little clique. Which is why I can find myself being comforted by the hands of a four year in the waking hours of a new year.
I have no doubt, these girls, my Littles, will continue to carry me through 2015.