There was a short time period where it was only my girls and I. A little unit of our own.
Tho little and feminine this unit felt more powerful and tight than anything I had experienced in my life.
I am not sure where the "power" came from.
Maybe a need to prove myself as a single mother.
Maybe being so worn, and so lonely that my three girls gave me all the strength and courage and fullness I needed.
There are still many days I feel the opposite, I feel powerless. Very similar in depth of feeling and emotion to which I began this journey with over four years ago.
But so much time has passed. So much has become the norm.
I've gotten used to the idea of creating "power"; creating a life within parameters. I've gotten used to letting go and not being able control of everything that happens in my world. I've gotten used to the idea of riding the waves and staying afloat.
But just because I am used to it, doesn't mean I am content with it.
Power within parameters. I've come to exist by it. It's my lifeboat.
There was a short period where it was just my girls and I. But there was a time when I felt it was just me.
And no one to save me but me.